Weak . . . or Wounded Warrior

I had a dream one night, earlier this year.

I was at a pool party with church folks. People were eating and swimming. My ex-boyfriend (from High School) was there in the pool and I was happy to see him. I had missed him. (I was out of the pool.) Then he got out of the pool and had to leave. All of a sudden my mom, carrying a plate of food, jumps into the pool (fully clothed). I looked and she was rescuing a couple of kids. I think it was Lauren (my niece) and one of my kids. They were ok. Then my youngest son got in and was standing at the bottom of the pool looking up expectantly as if he wanted someone to rescue him too. I think I got him out – but kind of scolded him because he could have drowned.

Then my husband was talking to the people around the pool and he said “Well, you can either live life weak or a wounded warrior . . . but we all have to go through the forest.” All the people agreed with him as if it was a deep spiritual thought or statement.

Then I woke up.

There are times in life where God allows us to go through tings that are “overwhelming” – where we feel like we are going to “drown”. In the end – those situations really cause us to think – about our lives, about what God might be doing/saying, etc.

My sister really did almost drown when she was 3 years old. I saw her at the bottom of the pool and alerted my dad who jumped in fully clothed and rescued her. When she came up she said “I tried to get out but I couldn’t”. She had been holding her breath – motionless at the bottom of the pool. Over the years of her life she has thought a lot about and analyzed to death what happened when she almost drowned. Even though that was a traumatic event for her, I know that her life has been enriched because of that experience and all the thinking it caused her to do. She would be a very different person had it not happened.

There are things in my own life where God has done the same thing – not a physical drowning – but other ways that I thought I was overwhelmed, “drowning”, or going to die . . . and they too have made me think more – draw closer to God more – question things – analyze – and especially . . . Pray!

Just this past week I actually did see my old boyfriend (after 17+ years) – at his mom’s funeral (not the happy pool party like my dream – but definitely surrounded by church folk). I only saw him briefly and then he was gone – but since then I have been dealing with emotions, thoughts, old issues, memories, etc (related to him – and to other things around that time period). It’s as if God was picking up a pebble in the bottom of a puddle of water – and even though it is small and seemed insignificant – picking it up naturally stirred up all the dirt and junk around where the pebble had been. So the pebble is gone – but I have to deal with the swirling “dirt”.

I’ve definitely been “thinking” a lot this past week . . . . and praying! It’s a good thing – despite the overwhelming, “drowning” feeling that has accompanied it. I know God is doing something awesome in me! He is cleaning out this old “vessel” to be used by Him – so that when He fills me up with His pure water and then pours me out for others – that none of my clay will crumble in the water. People will only taste the pure water (God) . . . not this old clay pot!

The quote spoken by my husband at the end of my dream seemed really odd. I didn’t see why people thought it was deep and profound. But now I do.

We all have to go through the forest – the adventure we call “life” – or an adventure in life. The vision of going through a forest is something that God used in my life when we were adopting our youngest daughter – it was a journey through it – something new, not sure where I was going, kind of scary, etc. And it’s not always easy to go through a forest. We can get lost, there can be thick brush, but there can be times of beauty and ease in walking through it as well. At first I didn’t understand why he didn’t say “weak or a warrior” – instead of a saying “wounded warrior”. It would seem that weak and warrior would be the opposite ones.

God has been calling me more and more lately to be a warrior for Him. We all need to be. But some people, when they get hurt, their self-esteem is bruised, and they feel as if they are weak (either because of the hurt, or because no one ever told them of the strength and power that they posses as a child of God – they have believed the lies of the enemy.) – and they trudge through the forest – not feeling as if they can really make it. They are just “weak”. . . . However, a warrior – even when he is wounded – does not give up easily. He is a WARRIOR and he knows it! So even though he may feel “weak” or wounded – he will continue on through the forest. God knows that no one will go through this life without any wounds. I think that is why my husband didn’t say just “warrior”. We all have wounds. But we don’t have to be “weak”. We can be a “wounded warrior”. And thankfully, God LOVES to heal us of our wounds!

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed” Isaiah 53:5