Alone in the dark?
A little girl sits up in her bed, in the dark . . . in the darkest of the dark of the night . . . feeling afraid, feeling alone, feeling hopeless and wondering if she’ll make it till morning . . . thinking, wondering, crying out in the depth of her heart and mind . . .
“Will the morning ever come? It’s so dark. It’s so long. It already feels like this darkness has been here for far too long, and I’m drowning in it . . . surrounded by it . . . overwhelmed by it . . . consumed by it.”
“I’m here my child. I’m here honey. I haven’t left you. Go to sleep. Rest. Let me watch over you, protect you and take care of you. I’ll take care of the night watch. I’ll take care of you in this dark time . . . in the darkness that surrounds. I’ve got you covered sweetheart. You are not alone, and I will not leave your side.” says her Father.
“But I can’t see you! I can’t feel you! Where are you?” the little girl cries out.
“I’m right here . . . beside you . . . near you . . . standing guard and watching over you, over your life, over this house. I will not go far, and I will never leave you. I will watch over you, sing over you, protect you and love you . . . . through all this darkness and into the day. Do you trust me?” he lovingly and gently, but firmly, replies with strength – like the strength of a 1000 warriors.
“Are you sure? Are you sure it’s safe? Are you sure that you won’t fall asleep . . . or leave . . . or forget?” the little girl tentatively asks . . . wanting to trust . . . but unsure of what’s going to truly happen when she lets go and falls asleep.
“Honey . . . have I ever done that before?” he asks in return.
“No . . . well . . . I don’t know. I don’t think so . . . but sometimes I can’t feel you here, and I can’t see you . . . so how do I really know?” she asks in return.
“Because I haven’t. I do not lie. I cannot lie. And if I say I have never left you and will never leave you . . . you can put your full trust and faith in that . . . even if you don’t ‘feel’ me. I am here. Always. I am always watching over you, and I love to protect you and take care of you. Will you let me? Will you let me be in charge of the night watch? Will you let me be in charge of this dark time in your life – this darkness that surrounds. I am here. I am light in the dark, I am your protector, I am your defender, I am your healer, I am your sustainer, and most importantly . . . I am your Father . . . and because you are my child, my precious, beautiful, amazing, delicate, and strong little girl, and yes, even scared and fearful at times – I will never leave you, forsake you, stop loving or protecting you.
“Now . . . will you go to sleep and trust me to take care of you? Will you rest from all your striving, fear, worry and control . . . and trust me with your present situation – with the darkness that surrounds and overwhelms you right now? I can handle it. I truly can. And I am not sitting in the dark . . . because I am light – and I can truly see all around, what’s going on, and I have a plan to take care of you . . . if you let me.”
The little girl tried to look towards the sound of her Father’s handsome, strong and reassuring voice – to see what He saw . . . to see Him . . . but it still remained dark. “I want to Daddy. I’m trying. I’m still just feeling very afraid. What if . . . ”
He cut her off – “Don’t start with ‘what if’s” . . . as I know the answer to them all. The question is . . . Will you trust me to take care of all the what if’s . . . even if I don’t tell you how I’m going to do it?”
Hmmmm . . . she had to ponder that for a little while. What if she did trust him? What if she just decided to let go of the fear, the worry, the ability to know what’s going on . . . and just choose to put her trust in him instead?
Suddenly she remembered something . . . .
A few years back, when she was even younger . . . she didn’t have these fears. She didn’t doubt that he was there watching over her at night. She loved going to bed, in the dark, and didn’t mind the dark times in her life as much. So what happened? What changed? Why is she afraid now?
Her Daddy could see her pondering things – and because he knew her so well, he knew what she was thinking about and decided to respond.
“Honey . . . I have always been there . . . been here. I will never leave. What happened years ago was this . . . a lie crept in . . . the liar came in and whispered in your heart, whispered in your ears that I was not true to my word. Your heart had been hurt, it had been vulnerable, and it took in that lie . . . “If your Daddy truly loved you . . . He would have prevented this from happening . . . He would have protected you . . . You wouldn’t have had to go through this.” But it was a lie sweetie. My love isn’t dependent upon anything that you do, or what circumstances you are in (or are not in). My love is dependent on one thing . . . that you are my child!
“There are things in your life that I didn’t want to happen . . . but I can and am always creating a way to redeem, to restore, to heal and more. I didn’t want you to run out in the street and almost get hit by a car – but you chose to disobey, and you almost got hit. I didn’t want you to be afraid of the dark, but you chose to watch that creepy movie on the TV and listen to horror stories. I didn’t want you to be hurt in any way, and sometimes people have made their own choices that have harmed you . . . but . . . I can heal & redeem anything that has ever happened!
So . . . the question truly is . . . do you trust my love for you? Do you trust that I truly do love you? Because if you do – then you will know that I will always be here . . . even when you don’t ‘feel’ me!”
Tears were pouring down her tender little cheeks . . . filled with amazement that her Daddy knew her so well – that He knew her thoughts even. She was filled with awe at the tenderness and love that he responded with . . . no chastisement in his voice when he talked about her disobedience and choices . . . but truly – just a ton of love!
“Daddy . . . I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being afraid. I’m sorry for listening to and believing the lie that you do not truly love me, for putting so much weight and importance and thoughts into the “what if’s” and letting them take over my thoughts . . . making me more and more afraid.
“Daddy . . . I CHOOSE to trust you! I CHOOSE to believe that you truly do love me . . . and that because you love me . . . you will never leave me – even (and especially) in this time of darkness! Thank you that you “rejoice over me with singing”, that you protect me, defend me, sustain me, and watch over me. I love you soooo much!”
She reached up to give him a hug – not knowing just where He was – but knowing that he could see her.
Her arms were immediately filled with the strength of a 1000 warriors! She felt safe. She felt comforted. She felt at peace – and was no longer afraid!
Her Daddy laid her down in bed, tucked her in, kissed her forehead and said “Goodnight my sweet darling. I love you. And I’ll be right here when you wake up. Sleep peacefully. Sleep well. Enjoy the dreams that I will give you in this night season! They will be clues as to what you will do when the ‘sun comes up’! Pay attention . . . and use everything I teach you in this dark time – to help others who are trapped, feeling hopeless, helpless and alone in the dark!”
And with that – she fell asleep . . . and was at peace throughout the rest of the dark night.
It didn’t shorten the time of this night season, it didn’t change the depth of the darkness that surrounded and enveloped her . . . but it did help her to get through it with peace and with the ability to soak in all that her Daddy had for her – to teach her, to train her, to show her – so that “tomorrow” she could get up and bring light and peace to the dark times of others! She was no longer afraid of the dark . . . and knew she would be venturing into other dark times . . . with her Daddy holding her hand and lighting the way! 🙂
Are you feeling Alone in a Dark Time? Are you living in what seems to be a never-ending darkness . . . not knowing when it will end?
You are not alone. Ever.
Choose to trust and believe, and ask God “Who/what do you want to be for me in this season that you couldn’t in any other season?” And then listen to what He says.
He wants to be all these things and more . . . IF you will let Him!
Drink Deeply of His Love – even in the Dark Times!
– Lori 🙂